the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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