What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
