covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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