I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
