You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
