I would go down on you faster than GM stock
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
