are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
