I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
