sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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