I CAN MOONWALK!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
