a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
