watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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