Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.

(407): View more from Florida

given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was

(352): View more from Florida

i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it

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(352): the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight. (407): given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was (352): i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it http://tfl.nu/tb83

Replies (41) Good night (3462) Bad night (1322)
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(480): View more from Arizona

you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.

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(480): you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you. http://tfl.nu/te9w

Replies (20) Good night (4714) Bad night (728)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.

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(918): IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request. http://tfl.nu/53d6

Replies (14) Good night (5366) Bad night (974)
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(917): View more from New York City

But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.

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(917): But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting. http://tfl.nu/vtlx

Replies (6) Good night (2074) Bad night (694)
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(989): View more from Michigan

Let's paint friendship bongs

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(989): Let's paint friendship bongs http://tfl.nu/nm34

Replies (5) Good night (2383) Bad night (750)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic

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(701): Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic http://tfl.nu/rfl3

Replies (5) Good night (2697) Bad night (622)
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(586): View more from Michigan

We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.

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(586): We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard. http://tfl.nu/e4oz

Replies (4) Good night (1226) Bad night (541)
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(239): View more from Florida

And I might get them triple pierced after that

(631): View more from New York

Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors

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(239): And I might get them triple pierced after that (631): Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors http://tfl.nu/vrzy

Replies (13) Good night (1220) Bad night (611)
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(660): View more from Missouri

I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.

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(660): I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst. http://tfl.nu/whde

Replies (10) Good night (966) Bad night (512)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells

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(978): I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells http://tfl.nu/uff7

Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (809)
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(727): View more from Florida

You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know

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(727): You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know http://tfl.nu/dtxn

Replies (6) Good night (791) Bad night (405)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party

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(902): Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party http://tfl.nu/fwjk

Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (373)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.

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(404): Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate. http://tfl.nu/nuzb

Replies (4) Good night (568) Bad night (508)
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(571): View more from Virginia

Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.

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(571): Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep. http://tfl.nu/t5vc

Replies (2) Good night (371) Bad night (265)
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(512): View more from Texas

Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there

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(512): Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there http://tfl.nu/l3xd

Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (169)

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