one might say we're banned from that church
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
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My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This is the high leading the old right now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
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The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.