I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.