Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
