So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
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John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
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I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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