I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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