You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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