Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
