I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
