life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
