Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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