New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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