Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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