I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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