SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
