You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
