Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
