We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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