Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
