I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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