Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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