He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
