He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
