quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize