Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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