Will you blow on my dice?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
