Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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