Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This is the high leading the old right now
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
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Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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