I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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