..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize