Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
