Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
