Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
