Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
