he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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