there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
