i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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