hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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