some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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