All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
