Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
