I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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