she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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