I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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