that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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