I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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